Author Archives: Claire Goodwin

Pretty much every client I have visited since the start of the year has discussed with me a proactive approach to mental health for employees. It really is an everyday topic.

Since the death of Caroline Flack, mental health is at the forefront of the mind. You would be well within your rights to ask me if I had been hiding under a rock these last few years if I said that I didn’t really know anything about Caroline Flack. It wasn’t until the news broke of her death that I read her career history in retrospect.  There is a simple reason for this.I really don’t enjoy reality TV and never have done since Big Brother was launched in 2000. I did watch it that year but found I was irritated by the fact I had wasted the Summer watching a group of people interact in a confined space with no contact from the outside world. For me it is tedious and uninteresting but I understand it’s entertainment for some and continues to be.

When the news of Amy Winehouse’s death broke, I watched the news most of the day. For me it was a talent lost and I felt the emotional effect. I saw my Line Manager, a lifelong Leeds fan totally devastated about the death of Gary Speed.  So, we do form an affinity with celebrities and a set of emotions that go with that attachment in good times and bad.

Then there are ordinary people who see no other way, no other choice.

All day, every day, ordinary people.

According to the Samaritans statistics there were 6859 suicides in 2018 recorded in the UK and Republic of Ireland.

My worst day at work, categorically will always be turning up to be informed that a long-standing work colleague in our HR team had committed suicide. He was man and boy at the Company, with length of service awards that reflected his commitment and loyalty. It was and still is eerie and surrealfor me to think about. It is not a normal set of circumstancesand emotions to experience.

We were going out that evening as a team. After much deliberation, we still went and raised a glass to our colleague but it was a somewhat toned down evening to our usual nights out. There were pockets of absolute utter silence. In-betweenthe silence there would be some story telling then we would revert back to disbelief. There were no explanations.

I wondered if we had been so busy looking after the majority (2000+employees) had we actually overlooked ‘one of our own’ sitting in the same room everyday? This seriously played on my mind for a long time. On reflection, there were no signs or concerns so it was impossible to predict or even contemplate what became.  It’s no easy thing to attend a funeral under such circumstances either because there is no short or long illness to apply rationale to the mind. The missing piece of logic that can’t be clarified or found. The funeral song will forever stick in my mind – Jonny Nash – “I can see clearly now the rain has gone, I can see all obstacles in my way”.

To date I have never suffered with depression (touch wood)but sure there have been prolonged low points and no doubt some to come. I do have a habit of taking too much on which gets a bit borderline but luckily I have a strong sense of awareness when I am reaching that point and apply the brakes.  Work in progress on that one!

Ultimately, I do think there is only so far I can empathise with depression because I believe unless you have experienced it and lived through it, you can’t imagine how impairing it is on everyday life for someone. A physical injury has a start time and finish time in terms of recovery and is usually so visiblefor all to see. Mental health, depression and anxiety are invisible – no timelines for recovery and much harder for others to comprehend it’s affects and sympathise.

In the immediate aftermath of Caroline Flacks death thefeminist meme ‘Fix each other’s Crown’ circulated Facebookand social media. I interpret ‘fixing crowns’ is about Womenempowering Women, eradicating negativity and being positive. I do sincerely hope that I was fixing crowns in someway before it flashed up in my newsfeed? I did reflect on this. Since the start of the year I have told someone I think their work is talented and creative. I have checked in on someone who has started a new job and sent various peoplemessages of support in difficult times. It took no effort, they were acts of naturalness.  Is this fixing crowns though or is it good old fashioned genuine friendship? I don’t know but I do find myself asking why we have to be reminded to fix crowns in the first place as human beings?

No one is perfect. It’s Human nature not to like everyone or everything but keeping those opinions silent has far less impact than making them publically known.  So, let’s live in hope that the death of Caroline Flack and ordinary people(6859) is not in vain and a reminder we all have to try our best to treat people with respect and kindness. Above all, striving to create a world, a country, a workplace in which mental health can be openly accepted and supported to give people a platform to seek support and help in the darkest of times must continue to evolve and there is still some way to go for this to be truly achieved.

The resources on the websites below are really very good for individuals who need support, those caring for loved ones with mental health issues and for employers. I do have a network of private counsellors and other therapists that I can refer people to, so please do get in touch if I can help in anyway.

https://www.samaritans.org

https://www.mind.org.uk

At the start of the summer last year I was at Stourbridge Tennis Club ‘warming up’ on the spin bike next to another member. Don’t be thinking I’m a serial gym attendar – it’s a once weekly visit that really needs to increase…….We were chatting about social media and the pressure and image it creates on young people.

I responded by saying that I had never suffered from peer group pressure. She stopped the bike to focus on the conversation and responded by saying ‘that’s wonderful, that’s absolutely wonderful’.

For days after I found myself thinking about this ‘wonderful’. It is wonderful.  It is truly liberating and free to not suffer from peer group pressure. It’s an inner confidence. Quietly, I celebrated this achievement.

It was the next question that followed though. Why? Nature versus nature? Were you born that way or shaped by experience? I reflected on this for some time after.

Throughout my days at Lutley Primary School, Halesowen, I cannot recall any peer group pressure, bullish behaviour or unkindness. However in that very instance I was asked the question, the first and only thing that sprang to mind was standing outside a classroom at Windsor High School, Halesowen, waiting to enter the science room, age 13, with the boys jibbing about me and my friends ‘swot’ like characteristics. I truly didn’t care.

I’m going to refer to this type of person/behaviour as the ‘negative influencer’ for the remainder of the blog.

My parents always taught me to ‘rise above’. “Sticks and stones will break my bones but nicknames will never hurt me”. It’s fair to say I might have taken this parental advice a little too literally in my younger days because on reflection Ishould have ‘fought back’. I interpreted this as ‘ignore’.

I’m different now, I stand up and approach conflict professionally and fairly. For my children, the one skill I want to develop is the ability to ‘stand up’ in the right way because in my school days there were occasions when this was probably missing from my armory. It’s not anymore.

The thing that surprised me in my early days in HR is that the ‘negative influencer’ exists not only in the school playground but it can be found in all layers of the workplace. In fact, in any group, club or association where people exist.

I have personally experienced a fair few negative influencers throughout school, the workplace and life but they failed to see that their behavior only ever had one impact – it fuelled a desire in me to achieve quicker, smarter and more successfully. Obstacles, negativity, unkindness feeds me with more focus, motivation and determination. So in a perverse kind of way maybe I owe my negative influencers a thank you?

In very recent times I have experienced the ‘negative influencer’ in the format of nuisance behaviour/copy cat behaviour. It’s water off a ducks back. ‘Rise above, fight back’. It has no effect on me. However for the negative influencer it’s a sad, lonely place. It surely is an exhausting place to be in. It must be all-consuming.

I sometimes bump into the boys from school that made the jibes outside that science room and only recently one of them said “if only I had worked as hard as you did. I just couldn’t see it at the time”.

If you are reading this and identify some of your behavior as negative towards others –it’s never too late to change. No judgement made.

Dead Poet Society was released in 1989. Strive to find your own voice, stand up for what is right and what you believe in, don’t worry about what other people are doing. Some seriously poignant and underlying messages about individuality in this film for those feeling the weight of a ‘negative influencer’. Carpe Diem.

From a work perspective, it is fact that much of my case work has a theme of bullying and harassment to it. Let’s hope companies continue to tackle and eradicate negative influencers in the right way.

Sometimes I keep a notebook of observations, thoughts and ideas. It might be about a holiday or a project or some other experience. It has some random entries and its only filled in now and again!

 

On 27 December 2018 extract from ‘said’ notebook reads:

 

In a bid to shape and control Christmas 2019, I have been pro-actively planning my wellbeing for the festive period since August. I’m not referring to present buying and practical things – it’s about state of mind to consciously shape Christmas and prioritise what really matters.

Last year I watched and subsequently posted on Goodwin HR Facebook about Martin Lewis who did a programme about debt at Christmas.  I really took on board the ‘gift giving treadmill’ where you exchange presents with family and friends for the exact same value. When you think it through and sound it out aloud – it’s actually slightly crazy.

My Christmas present buying is for approximately 10 people now, because back in the day when the list was 40+, of course the whole of December was spent gift buying and the weekend before Christmas was all about parcel delivery! I can recall standing on doorsteps in December reflecting on the fact that I actually hadn’t spent any valuable time with that person/family and I just appear in a mad dash on the doorstep for present drop off and exchange. Wouldn’t going out for a coffee or chat have been far more enjoyable and valuable than any gift on a shelf? The gift of time.

When all is said and done a gift is a ‘short lived luxury high’ when you end up feeling like the ‘notebook’. I’d far prefer my family and friends to be adopting the same approach and prioritising what is important to them and their immediate family.

Then there is the jar of piccalilli that’s still in the cupboard in March. Sound familiar? No more Christmas food shopping for me and no more scrabbling for the delivery slot online. For the last three years my shopping is no different to a normal week. Our approach to Christmas dinners changed when my husband spent 4 hours in the kitchen cooking a splendid roast and subsequently timed how long it took the guests to eat the dinner (12 minutes). When it comes to traditions – we are rule breakers. I can look back positively on the last few Christmas Days knowing that we spent the majority of the day playing with the children versus cooking. We cheat now and for the moment we go out but the menu has simply been hot turkey sandwiches or a variation of!

More significantly this year I’ve actually taken November and December by the scruff of the neck and carefully chosen what events I want to go to. There are not many. In short I have been living a commitment amnesty by day and night which I activated in September. The net result is that the diary for November and December is virtually empty and it gives me a complete sense of freedom, wellbeing and relaxation. Blank Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays!  I have created ‘spontaneity’ but I have had to work hard to shape it that way.

I have no regrets or negative feelings about ‘saying no’. If I am asked to do something that doesn’t fit my interests, I don’t make up excuses for being somewhere else –  I’m direct in saying ‘thanks for asking but it’s not my thing’.

Luckily throughout my entire life I have never suffered from FOMO (fear of missing out). In fact, I did not know what that abbreviation was until someone explained it to me relatively recently. It’s entirely liberating to not suffer with FOMO. It’s a confident place to be. So many people are grappled by FOMO that they end up feeling like the list above – spending time in places and with people that aren’t their real priority, diverting from their true beliefs, interests and primary focus.

You might be reading this and thinking how boring life must be. It’s the opposite. It’s a clear focus and tuning of the mind and heightened awareness of how I really enjoy spending my time.

Being able to continual develop your own self is to a certain extent a skill in itself. To be able to identify and implement change in order to be the best version of what you want to be. I am embracing my reprograming and prioritisations for this year.

 

I’m sharing my short blog about Christmas now so if you feel like the words in my notebook – there’s still time to change and shape your festive season!

 

I hope that my notebook on 27 December 2019 has the following words:

 

I always enjoy feedback – positive, negative or controversial!

 

 

Toy Story 4 is long awaited in the Goodwin household.

Toy Story was released in 1995 yet it wasn’t till around 2013 I watched it for the first time,some 23 years later. I thought it was genius in the making and I wondered how I had let it pass me by for so long.

For extra special films we always take a trip to our favorite cinema – Everyman in the Mailbox Birmingham. Although I have to confess that my real favorite cinema will always be Quinton! Old-fashioned, basic, historic & simple!

Both my children have gone through Toy Story phases. We had our own episode of Toy Story when my youngest son lost Woody’s hat last autumn on the school run. Try spotting a small brown cowboy hat amongst the fallen leaves! Some kind soul propped the hat on a prominent place in Park Road, Hagley and I will be forever grateful. And interestingly just as Andy marked his name on Woody’s boot, I did the same. We label things that are important to us.

I thought it was so clever how Toy Story brought back to life toys from my generation – early 1980’s that had become deeply deposited nostalgia in the memory bank. Sindy ruled over Barbie in our house but I can remember the Fisher Price phone, Mr Potato Head, the Etch a Sketch and a slinky we played with on the stairs.

There are plenty of themes and undercurrents that relate to life, the workplace and HR from Toy Story.

Firstly there’s strategy ‘to infinity and beyond’ and whilst it might be a little unrealistic – it exists and the team have a vision and a stretching target to aim for!

Woody was none too happy when Buzz showed up, vying for the attention of Andy and doing whatever he could do ensure he remained in first spot. Eventually the Space Ranger Superhero won Woody over and acceptance of someone new and little bit different became the norm.

I can relate to this in my school life and career. I might not have had an impressive laser beam but there have been times I have to hold my own and prove my worth to be accepted. I think that’s why I make extra effort to welcome others and talk to new people because lessons from my teenage years in being accepted in a different community when you are from planet Zutron (well Halesowen, with that strange black country twang) still ring true now.

When Andy grows tired of his favorite toy Woody – change becomes hard to accept. It stirs emotions of fear, disappointment, anger and resentment which are all totally relevant to change management in the workplace and life.

Woody does remarkably demonstrate that his leaderships skills are his greatest asset to motivate a team in the face of adversity. The toys work together on several occasions to find their way back home each with unique strengths and weaknesses to overcome the hurdles.

I’ll end my first short blog on the fact that I love the lyrics in ‘you got a friend in me’.“You’ve got a friend in me, When the road looks rough ahead, And you’re miles and miles from your nice warm bed. You just remember what your old pal said, Boy, you’ve got a friend in me”.

Loyalty is important to me, I place high expectation on it. I give and I expect loyalty.  I’ve always serve my friends, family and employers loyally. My first friendships from the age of 4 at primary school are steadfast “we stick together, we can see it through” and I’ve collected so many important relationships along the way.

There’s so much more to this story that I haven’t touched on, jealously, rivalry, growing old, moving on which is why I think it’s so genius. It pretty much touches on all good morals and principles of life.

Let me know your favorite toy from your childhood that you identify with in the film  or your favourite lesson from Toy Story! I love feedback.

 

Off to book the tickets now for Toy Story 4!

 

HR Heart-Led.

This time last week I was feeling super nervous. I have been part of a voluntary team organising an event to raise funds for school and I really wanted it to be a success. For sure something was not going to go to plan (it’s the nature of the beast) but it wasn’t for the want of trying really hardindividually and collectively over many months in the making.

From a HR perspective, it has been a fine example of team work – allocated roles, long term planning, delegation, teamwork, meeting deadlines, monitoring budgets and spend. What I find more fascinating is the team is made up of very different personalities, different skills, abilities and different networks but each with equal value to contribute whichenhances the overall outcome. For sure we have had some hitches and technical hurdles but we have problem solved together. All united, motivated and in pursuit of a commongoal.  On this occasion, the goal is to raise as much funds as possible whilst our children are in situ to maximise their learning and education.

Many times during the last few months I have been asked why I take on additional responsibility? It’s an easy question to answer because for me it’s not about self-publicity or image itis wholeheartedly about ‘giving back’.

And yes that will read as cheesy and corny to some but fundamentally someone ‘gave back’ voluntarily to me in my childhood and youth in the form of a Brownie Leader, the Coach at Halesowen Swimming Club, Netball & Hockey at Windsor High School, the Orchestra leader and the list goes on……..Without those experiences, I wouldn’t be shaped both socially and educationally as I am today.  Therefore, if I don’t ‘give back’ in someway, how can I have the expectation someone else should on behalf of my children?

The volunteers who ‘gave back’ to me the most were my parents who spent unquantifiable hours supporting with homework, ferrying us to clubs and societies and in the late teenage years provided a 2 am taxi service from 42nd Street, Halesowen or Stoodi Bakers on Broad Street, Birmingham. At the time it was the most uncoolest thing in the world to be picked up by your parents but clearly it was for my safety and wellbeing.

Now here’s the thing with ‘give back’. Everyone’s ‘give back’is different depending on personable circumstances, work commitments, childhood experiences, values, behaviors and beliefs.

You don’t have to ‘give back’ by organising an event or formally signing up to a club.  ‘Give back’ is attending as a guest, embracing a new idea, supporting an initiative, helping with positive communication, putting suggestions forward, donating your skills, equipment and time.  ‘Give back’ is also‘doing nothing’ because it is simply not your ‘thing’ or you need to ‘give back’ to yourself in that moment. And that is perfectly acceptable to me –  no judgement made.  But ‘give back’ is not okay when you are not prepared to put yourself out voluntarily other than in the form of open criticism and negativity in pursuing what should be a common goal.

The greatest ‘give back’ gift in my view is ‘time’ because after all it is our most precious commodity as individuals but it’s the most sought after donation by clubs, societies and communities.

I pick and choose my ‘give back’ throughout the year because after all its impossible to do everything. I’m not perfect. I filter what I can contribute to and this is usually defined by interest, resource, importance and practicalities. But I do take quiet comfort and reassurance in the self-knowledge that I have done ‘my ‘give back’’ as best as I can.

‘Give back’ is rewarding too.  It restores your faith in goodwill, community spirit and mankind.

I probably should spend the next few weeks ‘giving back’ to myself but frankly I’m just not wired that way, so no doubt I’ll be back, re-energised and re-invigorated to start another project…..

Go on – try it! Let’s see if we can start a ‘give back’epidemic!

HR Heart-Led

Just lately I have found myself spinning more emotional plates than I generally prefer. They are plates that I’ve inherited or were unexpected. The phrase “it all comes at once” springs to mind.

I have been reflecting on my fight-flight response in recent weeks. Defined as “the physiological reaction that occurs in the presence of something that is terrifying, either mentally or physically”. 

My fight-flight response is a rush of adrenaline which lasts for days or weeks. I become very focused on work (probably a distraction) and when I’m in this zone I am capable of producing my best results. It’s a time I either change things up or I try new things which I find slightly bizarre and contradictory when I’ve got a lot going on already!

It’s quite literally like I’m ‘surfing on adrenaline’. I’m smashing the ‘to do’ list and pushing myself to achieve new goals. No doubt the swell will die down and I’ll need a big sleep up soon but for now I’ll capitalise on this energy. 

In recent weeks, this wave of energy has kick started a new light hearted business (not HR) now launched and inspired some courage for blogging. 

The HR Heart-Led approach is my new blog title and I will take something that is happening to me now or from my past. I’ll spin the HR perspective on it and add a dose of reality. For those who know me well you will know that I’m a secret squirrel so revealing a bit more Claire feels slightly scary right now. So look out for confessions thoughts and observations of a HR mind – and feedback always welcome!

Some plates are too personal to talk about and at this time are not up for publication. One of those spinning plates is my lovely grandad who is in hospital at this time. He is called Bernard Matthews and he has dined out on this semi-celebrity status the majority of his life. No doubt trying that line on the doctors and nurses right now! Sending big love to Bernard and keep smiling (he always says that to me).

In the next few weeks I’m ready to blog about Toy Story 4, volunteering & peer group pressure!

HR Heard-Led coming soon!